Wow. Holy shit! If I may steal from The Princess Bride, this Arrow finale has fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles ... and SLADE ONE-EYED MOTHERFUCKING WILSON!
Okay, Arrow Season 5. I forgive you. We’ve had our ups and downs, and there have been a lot of questionable storytelling decisions. But the fact that you’re wrapping up with SLADE ONE-EYED MOTHERFUCKING WILSON makes everything okay. We cool, Arrow. We cool.
In an utter clusterfuck of an episode, character names fly fast and furious, and if you’re not paying attention (and there’s no reason why you should or would) you’ll have no idea who is who or what the hell is going on. Still, we get to see The Artist Formerly Known As Cody Rhodes again, so that’s something.
Present-day Oliver and Felicity are trapped in an underground blacklite club fighting for their lives while flashback Oliver and Felicity do the dance with no pants. Look, I don’t make the news, I just report it, okay?
We are back from break and straight into the conflict. It’s ARGUS versus Helix! Oliver versus Felicity! Diggle versus Lyla! There ain’t no good guys. There ain’t no bad guys. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.
Hey, are you a fan of the question, “What did he do to you, Oliver?” or some variation thereof? Then you are in for a treat, because that question gets asked over and over and over and over again in this week’s Arrow.
In an Arrow episode that really should have had a violence warning for the younger or more squeamish viewer (like me), we get a ton of focus on the highly uninteresting and thoroughly confusing Russia flashback, and very little focus on anything else. In other words: boo!
We finally get a solid episode of Arrow this season! Well, except for the flashbacks. And the fact that none of us care whether Ollie’s new girlfriend lives or dies. And a few gaping plot holes. But still! Solid!
As Oliver marches toward inevitable impeachment (*cough* Trump *cough*) the rest of Team Arrow hunts down Vigilante. Quite unsuccessfully, I might add. Oh, and we find out who Prometheus is. Spoiler: It’s not Michael Dorn.
If you thought an episode uniting China White, Cupid, and their black friend would be fun or entertaining or even watchable, then you thought wrong. If you have this week’s This Is Us waiting on your DVR, watch that instead. Trust me.