Team Arrow, Team Flash, and Team … Legends (?) combine forces to take out the crappy CGI that is Metallo. Where did Metallo come from? Eh, whatever. Oh, Metallo. You deserved so much better.
Martin and Jax have an overly long and dramatic scene where Martin asks Jax to give him the Windex – you remember the Windex that Wells and Cisco created to rid both men of Firestorm? Yeah, Martin wants to drink that. Jax taps into his theater training to simulate crying, but doesn’t manage any actual tears. He finally relents and lets Martin drink the Windex and Martin dies. Well of course he does. He drank Windex!
Apparently the mourning period is quite short because what’s-her-name and the other chick there joke about the other chick getting a costume for the upcoming battle.
Anyway, all the heroes gather for their senior photo and have a GoToMeeting with Dark Arrow, who wants them to surrender Supergirl. That ain’t gonna happen, so I guess it’s pistols at dawn!
On the streets of Central City, the Nazis are on the march and kill the one or two citizens they encounter. I guess the budget for extras just wasn’t there. Our combined heroes make the slow-motion scene and prove what terrible aim these Nazis truly have. When the Nazis even remember that they have guns. Which is not that often.
In the extra-long wrapup, Earth-X Snart decides to stay on with the Earth-1 Legends for a while, but not before smooching his boyfriend. I have now cried three times while watching Legends of Tomorrow. Unfortunately for Snart the first thing he has to do on Earth-1 is attend Martin’s funeral, and boy is it sad. There’s so much crying. Not from me this time, but from the actual characters.
Barry and Iris tell Ollie and Felicity that they’re just going to get married with a JoP, and Felicity remembers that Digg got ordained at some point. Barry zips over to the Quiver to grab Digg, and Digg pukes shortly after arrival. Felicity asks Digg to marry Barry and Iris. Right there, next to Digg’s puke puddle. Sure, why not?
During her vows, Iris tells a story about how she ruined a ballet recital when she was a child, prompting Barry to get on stage with her and finish the routine. WHAT? That’s fucking insane. These two egomaniacal idiots belong together.